who picked this dump?
you suggested it.
I suggestedyou look into it.
Sorry.The online reviews--
were obviously writtenby some geek in their own marketingdepartment.
Next time,call someone you know.
Stop relying on a computer to do your job for you.
Brightsize apparel-- eight sexual harassment suitsin two years.
- Who asked for the meeting? - They did.
patty michener, president of women's majority.
And wow-- do you guys need me!
Nine men.
No one thoughtit might be a good idea to put a suit on one of the gals
from the steno pool to make it look likeyou give a damn?
We've made it a priorityto promote more women, but--
well, from now on you have me standing beside you, which is good.
Because your problem is a national problem.
with all due respect, miss michener,
I'd hardly call a few isolated incidents a national problem.
six out of ten victims never even report harassment.
This is bigger than just eight women.
That still only means 20.
Not enough for you?
How many asses does your corporate policy allow you to grab?
Tell you what you're gonna do.
You're gonna settle with anyoneyou haven't settled with.
You're gonna fire any manwho's even been accused.
Somebody help me! Please help me. I can't get 'em off!
Please help me! Help me, please! Somebody help me! Get 'em off.
You gonna call an ambulance, or are you just gonnasit there and stare?
Help me, please!
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=- proudly presents
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=- sync:ßÇÈâÈâ
House Season05 Episode01 Dying Changes Everything
Wilson's back.You gonna--
he's been gone two months.
He can wait till I finish slaying a guy in a skullcap and a pair of tights.
On a video game you stole from the pediatric ward?
On advice of counsel, I assert my privilege pursuant to the fifth.
When was the last time you talked to him?
Uh, I think it was after...
when did his girlfriend die?
He wanted time alone.
I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass,
but I didn't want to tread on your turf.
We got a case.
I've gotta remember to close the blinds.
Just got a call from patty michener from women's majority, the women's rights--
we know who she is.
I dated her.
Well, not really dated her.
More metaphorically raped her by having a penis.
You did too.
Her assistant flipped out.
Ripped off her clothes in front of a room full of businessmen.
Well, either she cracked under the whip, or she started to realize that
her evolutionary purpose is to arouse men, not to castrate them.
Send her to psychiatric.
Anemia, bradycardia, and abdominal pain aren't psychiatric symptoms.
Then it's the latter.
Send her to my apartment.
I'll give it to segal.
House actually wants a case, and you're saying no?
House has more important things to do.
Sorry, can't help you.
You need a specialist to remove those kind of warts.
Preferably one with experience spelunking.
Hallucinations, possible memory loss.
Tests show anemia, slow heart rate, and a stubborn refusal to shave her pits.
Have you seen wilson?
Nope. But I have seen the patient's frequent flyer balance.
Eastern europe, asia, third-world countries. Sometimes more than one a day.
No fever means it's not a tropical disease.
If it's not where she went, maybe it's the work hours.
Could be amphetamine abuse.
She's probably popping them like breath mints.
You haven't been by his office?
Is wilson hallucinating ants crawling all over him too?
Tox screen's cleaner than the windows she won't do.
Her job keeps her constantly on the road, probably living off of airline peanuts and diet soda.
Severe b12 deficiency could cause all her symptoms.
Why is everyone leaping to conclude a strong career woman's been made sick by her strong career?
It's not b12, it's an insulinoma in her pancreas.
It's making her hypoglycemic.
Great. Now everyone knows.
You knew the patient had cancer?
Is that what she said?
I thought she said, "I am suddenly and irrationally defending "the patient's strong career,
"even though in reality "she's just a glorified grunt?
"Because I'm trying to convince myself that it's okay "not to have a life because I don't have a life.
"Because I was tested for huntington's, and my life span's been cut in half."
Been waiting two months for her to say that.
Hallucinations, anemia, bradycardia--
hypersegmented polys says that taub's right.
Pump her full of b12.
See how a strong career woman's been made sick by her strong career.
Are you okay?
Could be yearsbefore you see any symptoms.
Why wouldn't you tell us?
I don't have huntington'S.
Are you lying to us...
because it's noneof our business?
If it's noneof your business, then I shouldn't haveto answer these questions.
And I wouldn't have to, except house doesn't want toanswer questions about wilson.
He's deflectinghis own problems onto me.
Are you deflecting now?
Time for a b12 cocktailand my life lesson.
No, patty will dothe hearing.
She just needs to bethe leadoff witness so--
okay, I'll lock it down today.
I need you back in bed.
My boss hasa big beijing trip.
I've been planning itfor months.
I was just tiredand dehydrated and--
ye, whenever I losesome shut-eye, I pound my legs, clawingat imaginary ant colonies.
You have a severeb12 deficiency. Get back in bed.
I'm sure your boss can dowithout you for a few days.
It's not about her. It's about me.
I want to be there. I want to matter.
Yeah, I mean,without you, who knows how much starch they'd put in her shirts?
I'm sorry, I'm sureyour boss depends on you for--
I need to get up.
- No, you need to stayin bed. - Please, where's a bed pan?
Oh, my god, I'm sorry.
I just-- I just had a bowel movement.
It's okay, b12 deficiencycan cause sudden--
that's not a bowel movement.
My patient...
is still fightingin the feminist trenches, but the war is over.
Yesterday's slutsare today's empowered women.
Today's sluts are celebrities.If that isn't progress--
I'm leaving.
What, are you gonna takeanother two months?
Boy, you're really milking thisbereavement thing, aren't you?
I mean, good for you. Take all the time you need.
I'm resigning.
Maybe moving out of new jersey. I don't know yet.
Okay. That's an understandablereaction.
It's not a reaction. It's a decision.
I'm writing cuddymy resignation right now.
I'm just back for the weekto wrap up my clinical andadministrative duties.
You of all people should know,this is bereavement 101.You think thata change of venue--
well, that spares me decadesof psychoanalysis.
I'm not sayingyou're not in pain.
You're sayingmy pain's a cliche.
- I'm saying that pain fades. - Did yours?
Physical pain is different.
I'd rather have my legchopped off.
- You don't know that 'cause you haven't felt-- - neither have you.
- Sorry--patient's gota rectal bleed. - Busy.
- We need you to-- - actually, as you can see,I'm not busy.
It's just a euphemismfor "get the hell out of here."
This is your grieftalking.
And, yeah, it isa bit textbook.
So before you give awayall your possessions to the salvation army--
my girlfriend's dead.
I'm glad you've readthat book before. I haven'T.
I'm late to meetdr. Olan to brief him on the casesI'm handing over.
Bye.
It doesn't bother youthat house wouldn't take just two secondsto talk about the patient?
Wilson's dealingwith a lot.
And our patientmay be dying.
she was bleeding out her rear. We're looking up her rear.
You think we neededhouse's expertise to set us on this course?
Her heart rate's slow--bleedshould have made it faster.
And it can wait till afterwe know where it came from,
and after he's done dealingwith personal issues.
Yeah? That the wayit works around here?
We get cut slack while we dealwith personal sues?
You're not the boss.
Boss gets to makethe rules.Boss gets to ignore--
she's bleeding from... nowhere.
- You did an endoscopy? - And a colonoscopy.
- Ct scan? - Ordered.
But it shouldn't show anythingthe endoscopy didn'T.
We can't do a ct scan.
Why not?
We don't need a ct scan. We don't need house.
Stop grinning and talk.
One of the routine pre-proceduretests was positive.
Which one?
The one that,if it's positive, would explaina hormone imbalance
that could screw with heart rateand blood flow.
Guess she does have a lifebeyond her career.
I'm pregnant?
You want me to call the fatherand let him know?
Soon as you dosome dna testing, let me know.
Must be hard to havea real relationship when--
are you making excusesfor me?
I'm just sayingit's understandable.
You only haveto understand something if it needs an explanation.
I have needs. I met my needs. End of explanation.
How recently were you... needy?
Oh, it's been two or three months, at least.
What? What is it?
Nothing.
Tell me.
It's actually nothing.
The ultrasound shows no traceof a baby at all.
Positive pregnancy test, no pregnancy.
B12 deficit rectified, buther heart's slowing even more.
And a bleed should speedher heart rate.
House, this isthe kind of case you love.
Contradictions piling upleft and right.
Two false positivepregnancy tests, bradycardia,lower G.I.Bleed. Go.
Choriocarcinoma--would'vetriggered pregnancy hormones.
Also would have shownon a sonogram.
immunoglobulin "a" deficiency.
No urinary bleed.
If she's hadbeta hcg injections, they can cross-react with...
keep going.
You're being an idiot.
You're gonna blow up your career.
And six months from now,when you've moved on from amber to burnt sienna,
you're gonna be stuckin a mobile oncology truck in pewaukee, wisconsin.
I'd need a flow chartto explain all the ways in which that wasridiculously insensitive.
You can't hidefrom misery.
This isn't your business.
My skull was cracked opentrying to save her!
Then we all needa little tea and sympathy.
I'm throughdiscussing it.
Uh, we have a patient.
Who's obviouslynot going anywhere with a bloody rectum.
Great to have you back.
Actually, I'm--
actually, he'sabout to thrust a tanto into the bellyof his career.
I'm leaving the hospital.
- I'm sorry, this is obviouslya terrible time-- - why are you leaving?
I just need a changeof scenery.
Buy a plant.
Rectal bleeding,two positive pregnancy tests.
There's nothing we can do?
You could ask houseto be a grown-up and respect my decision.
I respect thingsthat deserve respect.
This decision,on the other hand, is a dog wearing a cape!
Hallucinations.Heart won't respond--
the patient tested positivefor pregnancy because the patient is pregnant.
Hey, who are you?
This is dr. House. He's too brilliantfor introductions.
False positive.
You're too busyto be running a day care center in your abdomen.
False positive.
Not to mention you should waittill at least 30 to punish that pleasure portalwith a 7-pound tissue expander.
I'm 37. And I thought I wasn't pregnant.
37?
Impressive.
Too bad you'renot passing on those genes.
Does that look falseto you?
You were lookingin the wrong room.
It's more common when the egglands in the oven.
Sometimes it winds upin the fallopian tubes.
In rare cases, it plummetsthrough the plumbing entirely.
It's using her intestineas a blood supply.
It caused the rectal bleed, and now...
junior miss steinem'sjunior must be pressing on her vagus nerve,
slowing her heart to a crawl.
Yank the fetus.
She survives the surgery, she'll be fine.
What if she wantsto keep the baby?
She doesn'T.
Well, we can't taketwo seconds to discuss this?
I mean, fetuseshave been transplanted before. Whole uteruses too.
Just terminating the fetus when it's gluedto her intestines is high-risk surgery.
Saving it is a fantasy.
That was at leastthree seconds.
She's a 37-year-old woman who deserves--
people getwhat they get.
It has nothing to dowith what they deserve.
And this has nothing to dowith her genitalia, and everything to dowith your genetics.
You told meto get tested.
I didn't knowit was gonna color your every medical opinion,every personal opinion.
You didn't thinka death sentence would--
people die!You, amber, everyone.
Don't act like youjust figured that out.
I gave you a diagnosis. You don't like it, there are exitson every floor.
I'm sorry to beso definitive about this.
I know you're still absorbingthe news, but we have no choice.
Remove the fetus. Absolutely.
I have no boyfriend,no husband.
I'm on the road with pattyall the time.
Where do I sign?
You feel any tendernessback here?
No, not at all.
Treating professionalsports injuries now?
No, I'm not--
familiar with the conceptof sarcasm.
Don't sweat it,it's new.
Have you spoken to wilson?
We'll get you an ekg. I'll be right back.
You want me to sleep with himto get him to stay?
I put the bisexual chickon that.
If you'd like to sit in,so to speak...
- I spoke to him. - What'd you tell him?
I didn't tell himanything. I listened.
So you could feel goodabout doing nothing.You gotta tell him--
I am notyour errand girl.Best thingabout leaving you--
the two of youused to be together?
She dumped me when I lostthe last 85 pounds.
Said there was less of meto love.
Grief means different thingsto different people.
Case in point,means very little to you.
Grief is newark. Okay, it's there. You can't avoid it.
The idea isto hold your nose, hope the traffic'snot too bad,
and get on to manhattanas quickly as possible, not to buy property.
You think that'sfacing up to things?
I'm not the onewho's quitting.
'Cause youhaven't lost anything.
But you have. Listen to you.
What did you dowhen your husband died?
I got a new joband I moved.
See how crappythat worked out?
Separating the placenta from the wall of the large intestine.
Sponge. Suction. We've got some bleeding.
Bp's dropping. 90 systolic.
She's bleeding like hell. Clamp.
Bp's still dropping.
Amp of calciumhloride, fast!
- still dropping. - Shut up!
Squeeze her spleen.
We need to forcesome platelets out so her blood clots.
She's in weak shape. Spleen's friable. It could rupture.
She's stabilizing. Oozing's drying up.
I hate visitors day.
Removing the fetus.
Bye.
You have to stop wilsonfrom committing career malpractice.
Talk to him.
I already talkedto him twice. He threw me out.
Mocking himand insulting him-- let's see, yes,technically those are categoriesof conversation.
Block his referencesto other hospitals.
Tell him he can'thand off his cases until--
talk to him.Deal with his grief.
Talk to himabout what he's going through.
That's a brilliant idea. I'll take him outfor a beer.
That'll make up for the factthat amber's in a pine box.
That there's randomnessand chaos in the universe.
Tell him you're sorry.
I didn't kill her.
You were drunk and--
yeah, if her daddyhadn't been drunk, she might neverhave been born.So--
you called her upin the middle of the night.
She was on the busbecause of you.
I didn't ask herto come out.
I wasn't driving the bus.
I wasn't drivingthe garbage truck that hit the bus.
And I did not prescribe herthe flu meds that killed her.
Yes, I know,that's all true. But...
you really don't feelany sense of guilt?
You want to keep him, he needs to knowhe's not alone.
Just tell him you feellike crap.
It'd be meaningless.
Well, then,find some meaning.
And do something.
She's gota neurological problem.
Surgical complication?
Don't think so. She keeps on blinking.
Her heart's not recovering either.
So the pregnancywas a coincidence.
Pulse is down to 39. She's maxed out on atropine.
We're installinga pacing wire to...
Avoid that. We need some help in here!
- Page house. - Already paged him.
Page him again.
It's for you.
If I told youthat I was sorry, would it change anything?
I wouldn't believe you.
If you believe me.
It's hard to imaginesuch a world.
I'm going home...
until you agree to stayat this hospital.
You can't be--that's blackmail.
And to do your job?
Why not hold a gunto your own head?
Your conscience bleedsmore freely than my head.
Text.
Patient's in cardiac arrest. Ouchy.
- You'd jeopardizea patient because of my-- - if it keeps you here.
Your friendship mattersmore to me than this patient.
I've gotta do what's rightfor me.
You've gotta do what's rightfor you.
Yeah. But it comes easier for me.
where is he? Where is he?
status.
Her heart's stabilized.
We have a pacing wirein her, but the bradycardiais not getting any better.
House is bluffing.
I called him three times. He's not picking up. What do you want us to do?
The same thing you'd doif he was here.
If he was here, we'd beasking him what to do.
- What are the usual suspects? - There aren't any.
She had a vitamin deficiency,and we corrected it, an ectopic pregnancy,we removed it.
But her heart problemwon't go away, and now something's wrongwith her brain.
I have complete confidencein you guys.
Who wants to goservice house so this patient can live?
We can do thiswithout him.
Maybe something happened during the surgery.
The surgery was on her bowel,not her brain.
Anxiety, stroke, tourette's could all cause eye blinking.
And cause her heart to beatfaster--it's slowing down.
M.S.If a lesion took outthe sympathetic innervation of her heart,
it'd explain the bradycardia and the blinking.
But not the vitamin deficiency or the ectopic pregnancy.
House would want a unifying theory.
House is gone,and so are those sptoms.
M.S.Explains everythingthat's wrong with her right now.
Start her on interferonfor M.S.
Mind if I come in?
Not at all. You mind if I leave?
I told you not to take that casespecifically so you could dealwith wilson.
And the two ended updovetailing rather nicely, don't you think?
Is this how you showyour friendship...
by bludgeoning himwith guilt?
Because he's my friend,I know what works on him.
Well, I can't let youwalk away from a patient.
Then fire me.
You're willing to riskyour career, but you're not willingto say you're sorry.
I told him I'm sorry.
He didn't believe it.
- Well, make him believe it. - I don't believe it.
You don't want to believe it.
Because if you tell wilsonhow you actually feel about him,
about what happenedto amber, about your partin what happened,
and he walksout the door anyway--
if you make yourselfvulnerable for once in your nerve-deadening,emotionally obliterating--
you're doing the same thing he is.
You're running away.
Only he's not killing anyone in the process.
Where's dr. House?
He's not feeling well.
Was M.S.His idea?
We work as a team.
You know how it is. Collaborative.
Sometimes it's hard to tellwhere an idea comes from.
But you're notreally a team.
You work for him.
And you work for patty.I'm sure a lot of her ideas are actually--
She would be finewithout me.
I'd be nothingwithout her.
Maybe if you just hadthe chance.
I'm--I'm sureyou've learned a lot.
Not everybody'screated equal.
Does dr. House thinkI have M.S.?
Yes.
Did you just shiver?
You're running a slight fever.
Is that bad?
It means we were wrongabout the M.S.
You had my cabledionnected!
Well,that's quite a leap.
Just becauseI happen to have a 31-person maintenance department--
each of whomyou've personally abused at some point--
why? Did you think I'm okaywith letting someone die,
but I'm gonna fold ifI can't watch celebrity bowling?
That is notan unreasonable theory.
Especiallywith only ten minutes till your favorite soap.
Oh, gee, is this the remotefrom the doctors' lounge?
this is your 911? Good-bye.
Stop!
I'm withholdingyour salary history from every hospitalin the tri-state area.
You go, girl.
And I'm permanently settingevery tv in this building to the pottery channel unless you both sit down.
Welcome to couplescounseling.
it's not the surgery.
The timing fits.
The location doesn't, unlessher brains are in her bowels.
If bacteria enteredher bloodstream, it could have causedan infection in her brain.
the surgery went fine. You were there, you saw.
Peptostreptococcuscould explain the blinking and--
no.You want to watcha grainy video and have an epiphany.
Shut up.
You're making me misshouse's mocking.
I know you told usit was none of our business,
but if house thinks that your huntington's is affecting you, maybe it really--
it's not, becauseI don't have--
you're desperate to do thiswithout him.
You're not trying to cure her.
- You're trying to pve-- - stop the tape.
Zoom in.
On the anastomosis,that little bump.
It's a hematoma.
A harmless pocket of blood, which is why chase ignored itduring the surgery.
Could be a ganglioma, which is why chaseshouldn't have ignored it.
It's an abnormal growth of nerves, it could be causingall the patient's symptoms.
We have to open her up again. Get a piece of it.
So what do you wantto tell us?
Nothing. Nothing I sayis gonna change anything.
You guys need to talk.
Actually, you should just readthe psych literature.
Repression's gaining a lot of fans.
What you don't facecan't crush you.
Talk to each other.
How you doing? Good?
Fine, thanks.
Sit!
See, the two of you are friends.
- Look how you both-- - think you're an idiot.
We both also eatwith forks.
- That doesn't really prove-- - talk to him!
Tell him how you feelabout what he's doing.
I told him he's an idiot.
Tell him what you thinkabout him leaving.
- I think he's an idiot. - You're an idiot. He's in pain.
And your response is justto emotionally blackmail him.
You told me what your positionis on that one.
You're against it, right?
She hasn't told youin front of me.
She needs to proveshe's on my side.
Go to hell.
So much for that theory.
I'm sorry you lost amber.
I cannot imagine what it is you're going through.
But it will not get betterby you walking away from everyone that cares about you.
Do you think amberwould want you to walk away?
Nobody at this hospitaleven liked amber.
Same time next week?
You want me to doa second major surgery on a patient we almost lostduring a first major surgery
to see if she needsa third major surgery?
We need a pieceof the ganglioma.
Then you're talkingabout another patient.
Yours doesn't havea ganglioma.
And if there is oneand you missed it?
Then you're talkingabout another surgeon.
I didn't miss anything.
But we're not talkingabout another videotape.
This one showed a bump. We need to biopsy.
A bump? Oh, yeah. My grandfather diedof a bump.
She can't survive a second roundof general anesthesia, let alone a third.
- You'd do this for house. - Yeah.
Then what do you suggest?
Because the patient's got a high fever, a low heart rate,
and a dim chance of survivalif we stand here like idiots.
Then I suggest you don'tstand there like idiots.
How do you get coalout of a mountain when it's someone else'smountain?
If we don't have house,it doesn't mean we can't think like house.
But it does mean we don't haveto talk like him.
You don't dig down. You go in from the side.
We insert a lighted scopethrough the rectum, move the intestine tillwe find the ganglioma,
then push it to the surface.
Where we see the light,we cut.
We'll make as small an incisionas we can.
But unfortunately,it'll be very painful.
After your surgery experience,we can't give you anesthesia.
Can I talk to dr. House?
No. We can do this. We know what we're doing.
I don't mean to beinsulting, but my former boss didn't insiston me coming here because of you or--
your former boss?
I've been replaced.
- I'm sorry.You must be-- - I'm fine.
She has a big beijing trip. Ton of work to do.
She can't just wait for meto get better.
We've been well-trained.
We'll take good care of you.
How can you let her treat youlike a footstool?
The world needs flunkies.
Don't say that. You're better than that.
I have no problem with it. Why do you?
Because... life is short.
I mean, yours could've endedin that surgery.
You'd have never livedfor yourself.
What kind of feminist--we can have anything.
No, we can'T. We can aspire to anything.
But we don't get itjust because we want it.
I would ratherspend my life close to the birds than waste itwishing I had wings.
you're through the sigmoid, into the descending colon.
Switching on the light.
Advance towardthe anastomosis.
That's it.
Push the wall of the intestine toward the skin.
There, I see it.
Don't look down.
Scalpel.
So your last dayis friday.
I'm gonna miss you.
You shouldn't go.
Did house ask youto talk to me, or are you trying to savethe patient?Because there'll always be--
- house asked me. - And you're doing it.
I told him to go to hell.
Thanks.
But I think he's right.
You think you're makinga rational choice.
You think the worstis over. And then...
six months lateryou look back and you realize you didn't knowwhat you were doing.
Are you saying the paindoesn't go away?
It gets easier. Not in two months. Not in two years.
But no, it never reallygoes away.
Being here--this building-- I was just in the lounge.
I kept staringat amber's locker.
I saw a guy wearing a scarfthis morning.
The color reminded meof his eyes.
We lived 500 milesfrom here.
I have to do something.
Then do it.
But don't thinkit's the right choice, because...
there isn't one.
it's not a ganglioma.
The problemwasn't the surgery.
Abnormally depositedproteins.
It's amyloidosis. That would explain the blinkingand the low heart rate.
Only way to treatamyloidosis is to treatwhatever's causing it.
It's not as if a lot of thingscause amyloid.
Rheumatoid arthritis.
Familial mediterranean fever.
Lymphoma.
Well, we can't allbe right.
But you can allbe wrong.
The patient's joints don't hurt,
abdominal pain went awaywhen the fetus did, and no palpable lymph nodes.
Got anything constructiveto say?
Sorry. Sorry.
Um, she has lots and lotsof palpable lymph nodes, joint and abdominal pain.
She'll be better by dinnertime.
If we don't find the causeof the amyloidosis,
we never get her offthat wire, she never walks outof this hospital.
But hey,who needs house, hmm?
So glad we lostthose training wheels.
You want me to makethe call?
There seems to besome disagreement.
And this isn't justa pretext to pressure meinto staying?
Does it look likea pretext?
No.
She really is dying,isn't she?
Inflammation,enlarged nuclei, some mitotic activity.
It could be lymphoma.
There areno palpable lymph nodes.
It makes it less likely, but it doesn'trule it out.
I'm an oncologist. I see cancer.
Show it to an immunologist, they'll see autoimmune.
I already showed itto an immunologist.
We'll start her on chemo.
You should leave.
House doesn't want to losehis sidekick.
Cuddy doesn't want to loseher check on house.
No one's talkingabout what you want.
It's not that I want to.
Want to, need to.
If there's any chancethat being away from here will make your lifeeven a little bit easier, do it.
That's what everyone else herewould do.
Don't expect anythingto change too fast.
Lymphoma was your idea?
Why?
I feel better.
Sometimes just knowingyou're being treated helps.
You've given me18 different treatments.
This is the first onethat made me feel better.
I don't thinkit's psychological.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't havegotten angry at you.
Your choices areyour choices.
You're not like me.
Maybe you have wings.
I have huntington's chorea.
Dozen years or so,
my nervous system,my cognitive skills, even my emotional balance...
they'll all start to fray.
I won't be able to fly.
I won't be able to walk.
I won't be able to breathe.
And you want to make sureyour life matters.
I don't want to just...
be tightening boltsand following instructions.
I want something...
to be different because of me.
I am.
Not just 'causeyou saved my life.
I'm applying for a jobat a foundation.
Running the finance division.
I mean, I don't knowif I'm gonna get it, but if I don'T...
there are other foundations.
it's almost 4:00.
Soap time.
Nurses' remote.
Works in the doctors' lounge.
Why do you thinkwilson's leaving?
How many times do I haveto use the word "idiot"?
And that's a good enough answerfor you?
Whenever anyone does anythingout of the norm,
you have to tell themwhat screwed-up process is really at workin their head.
That is why I lockedthe two of you in a room.
So you would say somethingstupid and insensitive, and maybewith a little bit of truth.
But you didn'T.
So I can only assume that youdon't want to know the reason.
You're afraid to know.
You're not listening to me,are you?
Try it sometime. You'll see why.
You look 37.
I am 37.
You looked 27 last week.
Unless I blacked outfor ten years.Your skin--
she's got lymphoma.The chemo's probably--
stop the chemo.
She's getting better. Bradycardia's improving.We didn't need--
she have bruising?
She was pounding her legsduring the hallucinations.
It's not lymphoma.
Hey, don't-- no, no, no.
My bad. Thought no meant yes.
Those aren't bruises. They're mycobacterial lesions.
She has diffuselepromatous leprosy.
Must have caught it on one of her overseas estrogen tours.
Chemo wipes out some of the bacteria, she feels a little better.
Wipes out mostof her immune system, she gets a whole lot worse.
Leprosy? Like where my limbsfall off?
Actually, this isthe flattering one.
It's also knownas "pretty leprosy."
It doesn't disfigure, it makes your skin look younger, smoother.
Don't let the girls hear.
They'll all want to lick your face.
Unless you're that kindof feminist.
Blast her with antibioticsand prednisone. She'll be fine.
Damn, it's after 4:00. I'm late.
- Damn. - What?
She's happyyou're gonna be fine.
But she'd be happierif you were gonna be fine five minutes ago.
Tests confirmeddr. House's diagnosis.
Thank god.
When you got pregnant, the physical stress triggeredE. Nodosum leprosum.
A common complicationof leprosy.
Inflamed the nervesto your heart.
Made it hardto absorb vitamins, scarred your fallopian tubes.
It explains everything.
Better prescribe mesome skin cream too, huh?
You might want itfor those job interviews.
I'm going back on the roadwith patty. My replacement flamed out.
She says I can managesome projects on my own, carve out more of a role.
Do you really thinkshe can change?
I don't know.The truth is,I'm not sure I--
you can change.
No...
I'm not sureI want her to change.
She's reasonable. She's just another employer,and I'm just...
another employee.
In a weird way, I matter.
I like you betternow that you're dying.
I was wrong.
You took a shot.
She's going back to workfor that idiot.
It's pathetic.
You thought somethingwould change?
She almost diedbecause of that job.Yeah, I--I thought--
almost dying changes nothing.
Dying changes everything.
I'm sorry.
I know i didn't try to kill her.
I know ididn't want her hurt.
I know it wasa freak accident.
But I feel like crap,and she's dead because of me.
I don't blame you.
I wanted to. I tried to.
I must have reviewedamber's case file 100 times to find a way.
But it wasn't your fault.
Then we're okay?
I mean, I know you're not, but...
maybe I can help.
We're not okay.
Amber was never the reasonI was leaving.
I didn't want to tell you because--
because I was trying,like I always do, to protect you.
Which is the problem.
You spread misery becauseyou can't feel anything else.
You manipulate people because you can't handle any kind of real relationship.
And I've enabled it. For years.
The games, the binges, the middle-of-the-nightphone calls.
I should have been the oneon the bus, not--
you should have en aloneon the bus.
If I've learned anythingfrom amber, it's that I have to take careof myself.
We're not friendsanymore, house.
I'm not sure we ever were.
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House Season05 Episode01 Dying Changes Everything